Working World

You have heard, I am sure, of people who can make enemies by the way they say “yes” and friends by the way they say “no.” It’s true. Saying “no” without antagonizing the recipient is often a challenge. It is an art and a vital job skill. Practice makes perfect!

Several key elements coexist in the graceful “no.”  First, unless it is unavoidable, do not reject a proposal out of hand. “Let me see if I can” or “Let me check my calendar first” can be a soft way of landing a “no.” When you get back to your questioner, you are doing it after you have had time to prepare a firm rationale for declining.

When you can, offer an alternative: another person they might check with, another time you could accommodate them, or another task you could do for them instead.

If you are an employee, always have a planner handy that lists all the tasks you already have. Suggest that you would not be able to do justice to the project; ask which task you might be able to eliminate to make room for the new one. Your manner should be pleasant and professional, not whining. Mention how the proposal would be so much more interesting than what you already have to do, but you simply can’t fit it in.

Lastly, try to balance the number of times you say “no.” At the earliest opportunity, make a real effort to do something extra for that person.