Working World

A generation ago, the best launching points into the “dating scene” were chic bars, laundromats, grocery stores or even church. As work hours increased and personal time grew scarce, the opportunity to meet Mr. or Ms. Right became more scarce. The challenge to fill out a social calendar allowed the office or workplace to become the new “meet & greet” locale. After 20 years in the work force, I’ve made the following observations about office romances: The relationship worked out and led to marriage; the relationship failed miserably and caused friction in the workplace; and whether the relationship was clandestine or blatant, or whether it succeeded or flopped, everyone in the office knew it existed.

Tips for Romancing a Coworker

If you find yourself romantically involved with a co-worker, here are some things to consider:

Mum's the word
While any secret is hard to keep, it's best to wait a month or so before you share your romantic news publicly. This will give you a chance to see if the relationship is likely to last past the initial attraction and to save face if passions fizzle after a few weeks.

Avoid P.D.A.
While you may be completely comfortable with your relationship, public displays of affection, such as hand-holding, caressing or even flirting can make others uncomfortable.

Watch the l-o-v-e-mail
Some companies prohibit the use of company e-mail systems for personal purposes. Others reserve the right to access or disclose electronic messages or files of an employee with good cause, such as suspected wrongdoing or concerns of sexually explicit content.

Don't talk about fight club
As in any relationship, whether with a co-worker or someone outside the office, it's best not to bring your arguments to work. Workplace conflicts are difficult enough when two colleagues don't get along. Adding the emotions and tensions of a personal relationship to the mix can create upheaval.

Keep things business as usual
Do your job efficiently and creatively. You cannot let your work ethic be compromised. If your romance is affecting your work, you may be asked to end your relationship or find another job. You may have to decide between your career and your companion.

Love hurts
Remember that people do break up. Make sure you remain professional and don't burn bridges.

1 COMMENTS

• Alex Jones

  My first job out of college was a sales office of a Fortune 500 company that for whatever reason employed a lot of people in their 20s. Several couples ended up meeting and getting married. One of my coworkers married a customer. So, an office romance isn't a bad thing, as long as people exercise common sense.

  Jan 21, 2009