My Coworker Is Extremely Rude

Ask Your Jewish Fairy Godmother

By Helen Rosenau, Your Jewish Fairy Godmother | Login to save as favorite | Send to friend | Print this article

I work with someone I hate. He's rude, bossy, condescending, arrogant, petty, mean and generally treats people like they are idiots. He's in charge of our computer system. Thankfully that's not my department, though I still have to interact with him several times a month. I know computer people look down on civilians, but one of the vice presidents actually said to him in a staff meeting, "Karl, you're the only person in the world I let talk to me the way I talk to my kids." If he treats a male superior that way, imagine how he treats a lowly staff person. Is there any way to get around someone with such a nasty personality?

Notwithstanding the question of why your vice president treats his children badly, the operative word in your question is "month." If you had to interact with this odious person several times a week my advice would probably be different. But the punch line for you is this: Kill him with kindness. Kindness as in polite, slightly obsequious, a little gushy, persistently thankful, effusively appreciative.

Be superficially polite and subliminally annoying so he fixes what's broke and flees your cloying gratitude. Say please and thank you more often than necessary. Smile broadly. Use his name in every other sentence. Ask for his ideas; tell him he's right. Keep a straight face while delivering your thank you's. Act like someone who likes him (the shock alone might change him). Keep your teeth clenched behind your grin.

If none of that works, go to his supervisor, assuming he has one, or the vice president, and ask why the organization allows Karl to get away with being such a jerk to everyone. Then try to back out of the line of fire.

This article is from WorkingWorld.com

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