Working World

I’m in a social quandary. I just met someone I think could become a great friend, maybe more. She applied for a job where I am in charge of personnel. After the formal interview, we started talking, joking and talking about personal interests. Two days later, she called to say she’d taken another job. I emailed her from my home address and asked if she’d like to meet for coffee or dinner sometime, as it seemed we had a lot in common. Is there a protocol for this, given how we met?

The important thing from a work point of view is that she took herself out of the job pool. If you initiate a social relationship — of any kind — that goes badly, you might open your employer to some kind of liability if it looked like you took advantage of circumstances for personal reasons. It’s not as bad as taking a bribe from the insurance vendor to send the contract his way, but it could create a perception of conflict of interest that might be used against you. As for the social question, treat her like you would any other new friend. When you trade life histories, talk about your emotional and interpersonal connections and disclose your history. If she withdraws, consider just a friendship. If she’s also interested, you can see where it leads.

2 COMMENTS

• Miranda Daniels

  People meet at work all the time. The only situation that is a problem from a human resources or legal perspective is where harrassment is involved.

  Jul 24, 2008

• Catherine Rhodes

  I'm not sure why the person was even concerned. The woman he wants to date isn't even at the company.

  Jul 24, 2008