Working World

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother,

In the two months since I have left my last job I have gotten calls or emails virtually every day asking for information about various this-and-thats. I’ve tried to be patient and educate them, but I owe my time to my new employer. How can I get my former colleagues to respect my time?

Can you spell C.O.-D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.? That’s a good description for the process of symbiosis you have created here. You have new commitments; you want to move on. But there’s also clearly a big hole in your ego that their calls are satisfying. Your co-workers are somewhat to blame for dialing, but you need to accept that you’re enabling their continued dependence. Your desire to remain indispensable is crippling both you and them.

Financial incentives may clear up this problem pretty quickly. Take your former hourly wage and double it. Then send each person who’s calling you, with a cc to the CEO, an email that says: I love helping my replacements redirect the ship of state onto a new smooth course. But I can no longer do it for free. Please acknowledge receipt of this email and the attached letter of agreement for consulting services with the return of the executed agreement.

The agreement should give you the right to send them a monthly bill in quarter-hour increments for the time you spend answering questions. It should include a sample invoice that’ll detail who called, topic, and time spent. My guess is that you’ll make a little money for a little while and then they’ll go away. If you prefer to make more money and keep this going longer, lower your consulting rate.

But be clear why you’re doing it. And make sure your primary allegiance is to yourself, then to your new employer, and to your old employer third and last.