Working World

Whether it’s the chatty gossipmonger sitting to your left or a super-competitive manager who keeps you in your place by taking credit for your work, the first rule of playing the professional game is to keep a cool head. Here are three hot-button scenarios and corresponding solutions to help you stay cool under pressure.

Boss Takes Credit for Your Work

You spent the last two days polishing a presentation before sending it to your boss, expecting approval for a job well done. Instead, you get nothing but a short emailed “thanks” and find out later that he or she sent your work on to higher-level supervisors instead of giving credit where credit was due. How do you react?

1. Take a mental time out. Instead of imploding into tight-lipped silence and dirty looks or exploding into verbal barbs, take at least a day to collect your thoughts and get a handle on your feelings. This includes resisting the urge to spill your angry beans to coworkers via IM, email or face to face during a lunch break. Being calm and collected instead of upset and angry can make a big difference in how well your message is received and how well you are perceived as a problem-solver.

2. Keep it in perspective. Understand as many sides to the situation as possible — including your own. What appears to be blatant plagiarism may be a joint effort by all members on your team to produce individual sections of a larger presentation that represents your department. As reporting lead, your boss’s responsibility is to seek out information from those he or she manages, compile it and report it upward. Do your research instead of reacting.

In addition, feelings of injustice may point to a need for approval or a personal desire to be promoted to a position with more responsibility. Immediate credit for a job well done is desirable, but it is important to keep your long-term goals in focus. An employee who performs consistently well will be recognized over time as a valuable asset to the company, and not only by superiors who are responsible for presenting your annual review, but also by peers who may one day report to you after you are promoted for your hard work.

3. Communication is everything. If you choose to speak with your boss, avoid accusations and ask directly what he or she thought of your presentation. Inquire about how it may relate to the bigger picture of the department’s goals, and how you might be able to take a more active role in its growth. You may be surprised by what positive events can come from well-communicated honesty devoid of anger and overreaction.

Relentless Office Gossip Drags You In

Offices are filled with many different types of people. To the office gossip, no one is immune to sharp barbs and jokes. As a nearby neighbor, you may be encouraged to add fuel to the grapevine fire. Instant messages, inside jokes and nicknames are common bonding tools to cut down other coworkers, and just beneath the laughs is a negativity that you suspect would feel a lot different if you were the object of ridicule — and you just found out through someone else that you were. How do you react?

1. Resist sinking to his or her level. No one likes to be talked about negatively, but instead of building consensus with other colleagues as payback, consider that two wrongs do not make a right. Even more importantly, forgive yourself for any gossip you might have participated in yourself and turn over a new leaf right away. If anything, pity the gossipmonger; he or she gossips because of deep-seated insecurities connected to constant comparisons with other people.

2. Be the example. The best way to handle an office gossip is to only share positive information with them at all times; no fuel, no fire. When asked about other people, only speak positively, and if urged to be negative, try to steer the conversation in a positive direction. Sometimes it is helpful to generalize a barb about another by laughing and saying something like, “I completely understand — that happens to everybody sometimes. Has it ever happened to you?” Another strategy is to change the conversation to more work-related one; after all, you are at work!

The Slow Burn: Boredom and Frustration

Although not regularly recognized on the surface as anger, a slow buildup of frustration on the job can manifest itself in interesting ways. Some may blow up over a “last straw” and walk out on the job, while others may engage in chronic rule-breaking intended to “punish” the company, such as taking extra-long lunches, coming in late or leaving early, complaining about the job constantly, or investing mediocre attention in their responsibilities. Some unaware of their own anger may even develop avoidance behavior expressed in psychosomatic illnesses that will cause them to call in sick or to take impromptu mental health days. What if it’s you?

1. Get in touch with your concerns. Recognize that under-performing at work is a form of self-sabotage and is counterproductive to your success. Bottling negativity about your job often leads to a personality disposition that is critical and not too fun to be around. Start by asking yourself, what you are not getting from your job that you could? Is it something that could be changed for the better by speaking with your boss? If not, are you in the wrong position within the company? Are you working for the wrong company?

2. Create an action plan. No matter what you decide are the right answers for you, first try to salvage the best parts of your job while working to alleviate the worst. If that’s not possible, consider starting a job search for a more suitable position. Work should not be a source of anger you seek to avoid, but rather a productive and satisfying stepping stone to success in your life.

Chrissy Coleman is a freelance writer and editor living in Los Angeles who herself has experienced a hostile takeover or two.

3 COMMENTS

• Jim Herz

  I once had a boss who was a complete micro manager and he was in love with his title. Do all managers get that way sometimes? I hope not. So I took time to meet with the HR department and explained to them how this manager would not give an inch. Well the HR manager thought it wasn't imortant enouch and just blew me off. It was then time to take matters into my own hands. I set a face to face meeting with my manager and put him on the spot. I said,if you can give me just two reasons for the way you're treating me I will walk away a bear with it. He just rubbed his eyes, then looked at me with nothing more to say. I said to myself "just what I thought". Later that week he came to me and apologized. Of course I accepted. Today we are still good friends. My point, don't be afraid to stand your ground when you know your right!

  Jan 12, 2009

• Alex Jones

  I once had a boss who was a rage-o-holic and that was no fun. We all walked around on eggshells worrying about the next episode. Finally he was transferred and the new guy came in with a very mellow temperament. The office was so much better! We were all twice as productive.

  Jan 12, 2009

• Miranda D.

  I think sometimes people are angry at their bosses because of too much work or perceived favoritism, so they "take it out" on them by doing stupid things like stealing office supplies or coming in late every day. It's much healthier to speak directly to the boss about the offending problem and address that. Besides, people who engage in bad behavior at work are only hurting themselves in the long run.

  Jan 12, 2009