Working World

Dear Jewish Fairy Godmother,

I was recently promoted to the supervisor position in my department. My excitement has dwindled however because my new boss consistently  screams at me about things not in my control. I told him I won’t tolerate it anymore, and now he’s accusing me of insubordination. The whole situation makes me want to quit. What should I do? 

—Oppressed

Dear Oppressed:

If your boss is the top dog in the organization, you may have to retreat. Otherwise you’ll have to enlist more support to end-run him. His behavior is like that of any bully throwing his weight around: It is rude and unlikely to win friends, favors or respect. You should get help immediately from the human resources department.

Start with a memo addressed to HR detailing your job title and responsibilities, what your boss has asked you to do, how he has communicated, and how you have responded. Give specific examples and dates of these events. Explain that it feels like a hostile workplace (that’ll get attention) and you are now asking for support and intervention.

Explain that you have always striven to be polite, to do your job, and to be responsive within the limits of your authority. (After all, that’s how you got promoted.) If you have positive performance evaluations, attach them as well. State explicitly that you have worked hard for the organization, worked your way up, and wish to keep your job, but you want to be treated respectfully and appropriately.

Send the memo and stay out of the line of fire. Make the people with power fight your battles. If the bully yells, stay calm, take out a paper and pen and take good notes. Then walk away and report him.  

Your Jewish Fairy Godmother is available to anyone with a question about coping with contemporary life. She's clever. She's wise. She's relentless. She cares. And she's on your side. Everybody needs one. Send your questions to helen@yourjewishfairygodmother.com.

1 COMMENTS

• Catherine Rhodes

  They say there's more than one way to skin a cat, and there certainly is more than one way to approach this problem. With all due respect to the Jewish Fairy Godmother, I think her suggestion here will only make things worse. Complaining to HR is only going to antagonize the boss further. Obviously the screamer is someone who is valuable to the company or his bad behavior would not be tolerated and he would have been demoted or let go before. Therefore, he's someone this person needs to get along with. My advice is for our questioner to let the screamer scream, standing there silently. Eventually he will make himself look ridiculous. Our questionershould smile and walk away. Doing this enough times reinforces that our questioner will not be intimidated and will not engage. In my opinion, the screaming act is nothing more than an old-fashioned power play by the boss, and the questioner would be smart to stand up to it, politely, rather than running to HR. Anyone else have a different suggestion?

  Sep 15, 2009